Me on a darker day.
Mary’s and Martha’s. That’s what it all comes down to. Honestly. I had a beautiful, and in my opinion, well writen entry on things that I’ve changed around my home in order to make cleaning easier. Tips, tricks, cheap but effective products… the works.
But... (Yes, I will begin my sentences with the word but, because in life there are and will continue to be but’s)
But… I feel like the Spirit has another plan.
If you have heard something like this before, I hope that this is a good reminder for you. If you have not, I am praying this speaks to you in a positive and uplifting way.
Remember the story of Jesus meeting the sisters Mary and Martha? (If not, check out Luke 10:38-42) Well, I am a Martha. God made me that way. I see a mess, I clean it up. I see a problem, I try to fix it. If the problem is clearly none of my business, you can bet I am waging an internal war to be respectful of others space. I am content to be out of the spotlight and in the background, doing what needs to be done.
Let us be real; the world needs Martha’s, just as it needs Mary’s. I’m proud to be a Martha, but now that I am a mother, I feel like God is calling me to be more of a Mary. Here’s why.
Since the arrival of my first child, my house has not been the example of clean I would like it to be. The rationale that kept me sane was that I had a young child, and people would understand that I was tired, both physically and mentally. It got me by, but with the arrivals of #2 and #3 and no real end of the mess in sight, stress levels were high. When it came to my home, I simply could not be at rest when there was a sink full of dirty dishes, toys scattered to the four corners of the house, and a small mountain of dirty clothes to be dealt with. (Do not worry, your messy home has no effect on my stress levels :)
I would use what energy I had in the morning to tackle a task like deep-cleaning the bathroom (because boy, did it need it!), only to discover the kids had destroyed their bedroom. I would take time to straighten up their room, while the baby took his time to remove all the books from the shelf in the living room. By the end of most mornings, I was tired, stressed and still seeing messes everywhere. The children were feeling ignored and hungry.
No one was happy. Stress levels were high. Something had to change. Being a Martha, there was no way I was going to make my peace with the mess.
Around this time, my husband and I stumbled across the concept of tiny houses. However, what with having a large-wardrobe-clothes-loving husband, 3 children, and a large dog - none of whom I am willing to part with - you can probably agree that the tiny home concept is not for me at this stage in my life.
Then a thought occurred to me. While a smaller house was not in our immediate future, what about cutting back on the amount of stuff in ours? Matthew 6:21 reads: “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. My mistake was putting my focus into the state of my house, rather than the state of my children. I was allowing a surplus of stuff (the mess) get in the way of spending time with my family; God being the head of my family.
I managed to get the hubs on board, and since the arrival of #3, we have been working together to clean out our house of distractions; the mess; the items that are getting in our way of developing relationships as a family. We have not gone what some would define as minimal, but I can definitely imagine us getting to that point some day. We still have a television which we use for watching movies and cartoons for the kids that often support the development of strong character (Got to love me some Daniel Tiger!) We have full size couches and collections of books and DVD’s. I have a china cabinet full of family heirlooms I cannot bring myself to get rid of. But :) we did get rid of a lot of items that held little importance to us, were not useful, or that we had unnecessary multiples of.
Truly, this has made the biggest difference in my Martha ways, because less stuff means less time straightening up the home. Most rooms take one minute to “straighten up”, 5 minutes to vacuum, and occasionally five minutes of dusting. Bathrooms and kitchens still take some scrubbing time, obviously, but that is ok.
Most helpful, is knowing that God does not care about the clean-state of this house. This has allowed the Mary to come out in me. I am blessed to be home with my children all day. He wants to see me developing relationships with my family. Praise God I am able to relax, and spend time with my children without distractions calling out to me from every room. I am even able to leave a sink of dirty dishes be for a good part of the day, because I know that everything else is as it should be. I am reminded of Matthew 6:28-29, which is quickly becoming a favorite verse: “and why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that no even Solomon in all his glory clothes himself like one of these”. Clothing, shelter, just have faith that God's got it covered.
If you find yourself sighing as you look around the room, unhappy with the clutter that has worked its way into your home, maybe it’s time for a change. This is a subject that is dear to my heart, so if you find yourself wanting to talk about it, I would feel blessed to listen and share some ideas with you.
In Him,
Mandy
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