Reflections on this Life

Like life, I suppose the purpose of my writing will ever change and evolve, and that’s ok.  Change is ok.  Two of my motivators for writing were to share some of the things I’ve discovered that have made my life simpler, to save money and to make more room for the important things in life..  I’ve had discussions with friends and family and they always seem interested (or appalled? :) to hear the cruchier side of my life; how I make my own deodorant, don’t use shampoo or conditioner, and how baking soda is for so much more than just baking.  The other is to rediscover myself.  Having children with an amazing man of God is one of the greatest blessings of my life.  But, it has changed me.  I feel like I no longer know who I am, and makes me wonder if I’ve ever truly known myself.  Jeremiah 1:5 says “"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”  God made us these wonderful, free thinking, emotion-filled creatures, and I had never taken the time to understand the person that he made me.

A question that’s come up more than once in our home:

Husband: “What do you enjoy doing? What makes you happy?”

Me: “Hmmm”  LONG PAUSE  “Can I think about it while I fold this pile of laundry, put the kids to bed, tidy up the living room, then figure out what to send for lunch with the kid tomorrow?”

Which brings me to some of the recent discoveries I’ve made about myself:

1. I need to take breaks.

It’s safe to say that my current life is consumed by my children.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing; they are young and they require a lot of attention at this stage.  It won’t always be like this, and I’m confident-much more now than before- that I’m cherishing this part of their lives, because I’m sure they’ll be begging for independence much quicker than I expect it.  But as all young mothers know (and experienced mothers as well?), you have to take time to refresh yourself.  To recharge.  Or face the dreaded burn-out or complete melt-down.  

I’ve come to realize that whether or not I think I need my night out, I need to get out of the house.  It is without a doubt that if I skip my Tuesday night out, that come Wednesday morning it will be return of the burned-out mother.  

2. I need my God time.

It is also safe to say, that with my current child-induced hectic lifestyle, that I need my spiritual time.  Having a daily fifteen minutes is ok, but having that hour and a half of uninterrupted diving into His word is so amazing!  Reading a passage and applying it to our lives today is worthwhile, but to look into the actual history and context of scripture, applies such significance to each event!  Biblical events I’ve been taught over and over again throughout my youth have taken on entirely new meanings through application of historical knowledge and context.  I’m so thankful to have been invited to an excellent bible study that happens every other Wednesday morning, and also provides child care.  I look forward to church Sunday mornings, Fusion with the youth Wednesday evenings, and small group every other Sunday evening.  The people I’m getting to know and the relationships developing are nothing short of uplifting and inspiring.  

3.  New vs Re-discovered Hobbies

I love reading.  Always have, I just forgot.  I wouldn’t go blaming the kids on this one either.  Technology, specifically my phone with its applications and games, was so much easier to reach for.  Book time got swallowed up by text twist and candy crush.  So I’ve been making a visible effort to stop that tech habit.   I love to read it all: fiction, nonfiction, self-improvement, how to’s... Now that I’m dropping kid #1 off at pre-k three days a week, I’m able to stop by the library on the way home.  Free books=WIN! With an added bonus of avoiding piles of book-clutter in my home.  My latest subject of interest has been the last Russian Tzar.  

I love horseback riding.  It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, since I was a child.  Yes, it’s an expensive hobby, but for one hour every other week, it’s got my absolute attention.  You know how you can go out with a friend, and all you do is talk about your children?  Or when you are out sitting and having coffee/tea and all you can do is worry about what the kids are doing?  When I am riding, I’m focused on the horse; not how my husband is getting along with the three kids back home.  Best distraction ever.  I’m getting exercise, I’m learning something new, and I can say it’s a dream come true!

I’ve started writing daily.  I guess you could call it a diary. Ideally, at the end of the day I sit and write about the events of the day.  If I forget, I subject myself to writing about it the next morning, and wow is that more difficult.  It takes a bit more thought to jog all the memories of the previous day.  Like I said, end of the day is best.  I feel like it’s the perfect way to wrap up a day.  I see everything I accomplished and can rest, having it all recorded.  I’m hoping I keep up with it.  How fun it will be to read what life was like when my babies were babies!

I can cook.  I was always more of a baker, and to tell the truth I’ve never had the attention span or discipline to follow recipes step by step. Yes, I do a lot of estimating when it come to measurement.   Over the last few weeks, I’ve make a genuine effort to prepare a real recipe for dinner at least three nights a week, and most of them haven’t been half bad, to my surprise!  

I love the idea of minimalism.  Prioritizing.  Less is more.  Less to clean, less to maintain, more time to pursue the important things in life, which is, after all, short.  I’ve even adjusted my way of thinking from “what is cluttering my home and life” to “what are the important things that I want to emphasize in my life?”  Life becomes less about stuff and more about experiences and relationships.  

4.  I’m an introvert.

I sort of always knew this, but I never actually knew how much deeper the description goes.  I always just sort of assumed that introverts liked quiet and didn’t talk much, but there’s so much more!  Check out this article from Huffington Post on Introverts.  

There was this moment of clarity, and I cannot find the article, where I read that introverts tend to be people pleasers, even naturally adjust their personality to suit the person they are speaking with.  

Are they talking about me???

Yes, I do this, without even realizing that I do this.  I think that’s part of the stress I feel when making small talk - it’s that while I’m trying to come up with small-talky things to say, my mind is also in the process of trying to figure out who this person is so I know what kind of things to say to this person so that they will be pleased, and not offended is some unidentifiable way.  Really, it’s mentally exhausting.  

Crowds terrify me.  If there’s a large amount of people you can bet I’m trying to calm myself down so people don’t see me panicking.  You may see me standing by myself but believe me, there is a full blown conversation going on inside my head at that moment.  It took me a long while to adjust to the larger size of our new church, but once I began to get to know people, it’s been so much easier to cope.  If I begin to feel overwhelmed, I can look around, pick out certain people I know, and I begin to relax.  These aren’t strangers, these are my friends, my church-family.  Distractions are helpful; so I’m relieved if I can help out in some way, and have a task to complete.  In this way, children are also a blessing in disguise!  Having them to focus on and keep track of gives me a break from crowd-stress.  

And there’s still so much more “me” for me to discover!  Have you learned anything new or rediscovered something about yourself recently?

Mandy

I had a beautiful plan for today.

And I woke up feeling great!  The weather is cooler and Fall is in the air.  The leaves are beginning to change.  As I’m walking the dog I’m thinking to myself, tonight is a great night for a bonfire!  Heck, bonfires every night this week!  Bring on this beautiful new season!  Fall is my favorite season, hands down.  

To prove what a great start to the day we had: all three children up, dressed, out the door, and in the car ahead of schedule.  With three kids ages four and under, I always feel pretty darn good about those types of accomplishments.  My oldest was to preschool on time… yes, this Monday is going great!

Then there was the middle child tantrum in the classroom.  The hauling of two young kids through the once quiet school halls and out to the car.  The noisy ride home, with the hope of peace and productiveness once we arrived.  There was the double birthday party to clean up from, new toys to move to the playroom, the two loads of laundry from the weekend, bed sheets to be changed, a kitchen to be put right, lunch to make, and hopefully some time to squeeze in some reading before picking up the oldest from Pre-K.  But no sooner had we unloaded and entered our home when my phone rang.  

Pre-K calling, your child is not feeling well.  

(Kudos to her classroom teacher for making kids wash their hands upon entry; she's fighting a good fight!)

And so, I load up the confused and unhappy children back into the car to head back to where we had just come from.  My plans for a productive morning taking a back seat to care for a sick child.  

We pick up the sick one, return home, unload the van, enter the house… and all of a sudden, I’m frustrated, angry, and annoyed every way I turn.  The youngest is clinging to my leg and crying and I want it to stop.  I attempt to get the tray for his high chair so I can give him a snack but it’s still dirty, so I go to wash it, but the sink is full of dishes.  Meanwhile, sad child is still clinging and crying.  The middlest wants some juice, and I know he won’t stop asking until he has a filled cup in his hand.  The oldest is upstairs in bed, but she’s suddenly- almost magically - feeling better and wants to know if she can get up and go outside and play.  Suddenly, I feel like sitting on the floor and crying.  My “Martha side” had her chance, but I think today is calling for more of a “Mary” approach.  

Emergency protocol.  Unload the sink and wash the tray- dirty dishes can just as easily wait on the kitchen counter.  Put the youngest in the high chair with some graham crackers and milk.  Get the middlest his juice and send him outside to play.  Tell the oldest she left school sick, so she must stay in bed and rest.  Grab my Bible, my laptop, and sit at the table with some tea.  

It has been my prayer that God uses this writing habit as a way of centering myself, and bringing my focus back to His will and what is truly important.  I hope you find comfort in some of the verses shown to me this morning.

This verse always helps bring me back to His desires.  He doesn’t want us to feel overwhelmed and stressed by the everyday tasks we find ourselves consumed with: the dishes, the laundry, the yard work.  Really, how imperative is it that my home be perfectly in order?  I can guarantee you, regardless of whether it is or isn’t, that is not God desires for my life or yours.  There are so many more important things, lasting things.  Things that will carry over into future generations and into eternity.  Regardless of the plans we make, His plan is already in motion, and it’s bigger and it’s better than anything we can think up.

Blessings to you on this beautiful day!

Mandy

The Perfect Wardrobe is Closer Than You Think - Part 2

Does your closet look something like this?

Did you get a chance to play around with Polyvore?  Check out some ideas on Pinterest?  Get your outfit option wheels spinning?  I hope so, because your perfect wardrobe is closer than you think.  A few more steps and preparing for your day will be that much sweeter.  Putting together a capsule will simplify your morning routine, saving those tough decision making skills for the day ahead.  You’re going to look good - and more importantly - feel good.  The only problem you might face is what to do with your extra time… but who wouldn’t love to have that problem?  This is a great exercise, even if you aren’t interested in continuing to the level of capsule wardrobe.

What you will need:

A bed or wide place to spread out clothes.

An ordinary cardboard box ( with an extraordinary purpose!)

A storage box  (Something durable like a large rubbermaid tub)

Trash can

Step 1:

Place every article of clothing you own on your bed.  Your job today is to clean out your closet and sort your clothing into one of four categories.

Pile 1	Pile 2 (Storage Box)
Items that: -You love -fit your body well -make you look good -make you feel good wearing them.	Items that: -are out of season -you don’t wear, but are hesitant to let go of.*

Pile 3 (Box-Items to be donated)	Pile 4 (Trash)
Items that: -don’t fit -you haven’t worn in a year -don’t fit your color analysis (make you look tired or washed out)	Items that: -are stained -have holes -are ripped

*If your goal is a capsule wardrobe, with fewer items and more versatility, I recommend keeping seasonal storage limited to one storage tub.  Look at it this way: you are freeing up closet space by storing the stuff you won’t be wearing that season (ex: heavy sweater in the middle of summer), and you are setting a limit as to how much you are actually storing at home.  Setting that limit will encourage you to make some tough decisions too; especially when you begin to run out of space. You will begin to see which items you favor more, and which are easier to let go of.  

Example: You have room for one more item in your storage box, but five storage items left on your bed.  Which one item do you choose to store?

Step 2:

Put away the items unrelated to your capsule or wardrobe: your undergarments, your workout/hobby/activity clothes, your pajamas, and your swimwear.

Step 3:

Store away the rubbermaid tub.

Put the donation box in your car.

Take out your trash bin (if it’s full of clothes).

Step 4:

This is where the fun begins!  Spread out everything left that you love, that feels good, and fits well, on your bed.  What do they have in common?  Make notes of common materials, clothing types, and colors.  As you look at each item, ask yourself what you like about it.  Is it the length of the sleeves?  The shape of the neckline?  This step can help clue you in to your personal style, if you didn’t get a chance to check out this quiz from the last post.  These observations will serve as your guidelines for future shopping trips.  

Step 5:

Find your basic pieces.  The versatile ones that go with just about everything. They should be a dark or neutral/white color.  Are you missing any basic pieces?  Would you like a new pair of dark pants for work, a cardigan for cooler days, or dress that can easily transition from a day at work to a night out on the town?  Make a note of the basic additions you would like to make to your closet.  

It never hurts to have a list when shopping, to keep you on track and focused with what you need, rather than impulse buying or mindlessly shopping.  I like using Polyvore as it allows me to easily add items to a visual list.  If you’ve found a specific clothing item online that you love, you can link it through Polyvore, to purchase at a later date.  If you find yourself needing something general, like a white t-shirt, you can simply do a “white t-shirt” search and add it to your visual to represent whatever white t-shirt you actually end up purchasing the next time you go shopping.  

Step 6:

Shopping and filling in your wardrobe gaps.  This is not something to be done all at once.  I am constantly looking for a new piece to add to or replace something in my closet.  I am by no means successful in finding a new piece every time I go shopping either.  Having a wardrobe capsule and trying to keep items to a happy minimum has probably earned me the “world’s pickiest shopper” title.  If the color is wrong, the material feels off, the sleeves aren’t quite long enough… it’s staying in the store.  

We all have an idea of which pieces aren’t right for us, and which stores are more likely to sell what it is that we are looking for.  Look to the brands that you’ve been pleased with in the past and that have a comfortable fit.  Stick to what goes along with your style, as well as with the other items already in your wardrobe.  Hold out for the pieces that you love.

If you have questions, comments, or are giving your wardrobe a good clean out- I would love to hear about your adventures below.

Mandy

The Perfect Wardrobe is Closer Than You Think - Part 1

Capsule Wardrobes

Everyone’s clothing demands are different, needing to reflect and meet the standards for their specific lifestyle.  Whether working in an office, outside, a daycare, or at home, your clothing selection has got to be up for whatever your day is ready to dish out.  

I titled this post “The Perfect Wardrobe” because I couldn’t think of a better way to describe my current clothing situation.  It is perfect for me and my current lifestyle needs.   Naturally, my needs will evolve as time goes by, but having this simple setup makes transitions so much easier.  Thinking about having to replace or add just a few pieces, rather than completing an entire wardrobe overhaul!  

Dressing has never been easier for me, and I have never felt more put together or comfortable in my life.  Applying this new strategy to my closet has taken some time and a lot of consideration, mostly because I wanted to do it right the first time, and I didn’t want to spend crazy amounts of money.  The effort was well worth it.  I love every piece in my closet- can you say that about your clothing collection?

My current clothing situation, if you are curious, is based on a capsule wardrobe.  A capsule wardrobe is a set of basic clothing pieces that do not go out of style.  These basic neutral-colored pieces can cover a variety of occasions, compliment each other, wear comfortably, and make you look good!  For those of you who are all about keeping up with new styles and trends, think of the capsule wardrobe as the foundation of your closet.  The trends come and go, but your foundation remains the same.

The term has also evolved with the times, to describe a set number of clothing items that compliment each other and can be mixed to create several coordinating outfits.  Pinterest has a lot of capsule wardrobe ideas to get you brainstorming.

A clothing capsule may be for you if:

• You have trouble deciding what to wear in the morning.
• Nothing ever “goes together” in your closet.
• Your closet and dresser are bursting at the seams.
• You frequently feel like you have “nothing to wear”.
• Many items in your closet do not complement your figure.
• You do not know what your “style” is.
• Some of your clothing is worn.
• Some of your clothes make you look tired or “washed out”.
• Some of your clothing is uncomfortable.
• You don’t enjoy shopping.  
• You are taking a trip and want to have clothing variety without multiple suitcases.  
• You spend too much on clothing, especially when the sales pop up.

If any of these characteristics apply to you, a further look into clothing or wardrobe capsules may be well worth your time.  Keep in mind, you want to apply the clothing items to your lifestyle.  If you don’t have the need for a skirt, or would never be caught dead in one, then don’t include one in your capsule.

A traditional capsule wardrobe generally includes the following items:

White/Neutral shirt/shell

Dark shirt/shell

White/Neutral Collared Shirt

Dark Collared Shirt

Dark Collared Blazer

Dark Pencil Skirt

Dark Sheath Dress

Light Day Dress

Dark Wash Jeans

Dark Dress Pants

Neutral/metallic Ballet Flats

Dark Pumps/Heels

Accessories (Jewelry, scarves, handbags, etc)

Capsule wardrobes generally do not include: (meaning these items are separate from your capsule; not that you would have to give them up :)  

Undergarments

Bathing Suits

Pajamas

Workout Clothing

Hobby/Activity related clothing

Considerations when putting together your capsule wardrobe:

• What is your personal style? Classic? Bohemian? Goth? Chic?  If you need help, try this quiz.  
• What colors make you look good?  Free color analysis tool here.
• What styles of clothing compliment your figure?  See Here: The Right Clothes for Your Body Shape.
• What quality, durable materials are you most comfortable in?

Are you intrigued with the idea of a capsule wardrobe?  Here’s a fun tool that I used to set up my “ideal clothing capsule: Polyvore.  Having a visual is definitely helpful.  It’s like window shopping; you don’t spending anything.  

What are your thoughts on a capsule wardrobe? Are you ready for a change?  Capsule wardrobes have brought an ease to dressing that I never realized I could have.  I hope this post inspires you to consider the benefits of a capsule wardrobe.

Mandy